These Thoughts

Is it messed up

Thinking these thoughts

Is it messed up

I've been thinking them a lot

It's just me

It's just Scott

It's just Scott

Yo

Sitting here counting blessings

Still stressing, still confessing

Got a lot up on my chest

Guess this verse became the lesson

Lay my sins out

Trying to make amends now

To anybody I lost

Whatever the cost

If I called you a friend

This is means to an end

A verse for every missed call

I was too proud to send

When shit hit the wall

You were there through it all

Picked me up off the ground

Every time you saw me fall

You know I brawled for you

I'd do it all for you

Sometimes I was the problem

And sometimes it was the truth

So this for the ones

Who really stuck around

Through the ups, through the downs

Look at what we found

I know I can be selfish

I know I can risk it

I know I think I'm right

When the shit I spit's explicit

Everybody tripping

Mad, yeah they be dissing

Maybe I should stop

Take a second just to listen

Cause I can't shake this

Truth, I keep facing

Running from myself

But my past keeps chasing

If I hurt you, I know it

If I loved you, I showed it

If I missed the right moment

Then I'm sorry I froze it

I'm not perfect

Never said that I was

I'm just trying to make peace

With the man I once was

Is it messed up

Thinking these thoughts

Is it messed up

I've been thinking them a lot

It's just me

It's just Scott

It's just Scott

Is it messed up

Thinking these thoughts

Is it messed up

I've been thinking them a lot

It's just me

It's just Scott

It's just Scott

I've been thinking 'bout the past

And the people I outgrew

Some I had to walk away from

Some I wish I never knew

Some I probably hurt

Some probably hurt me, too

But I'm done keeping score

I got healing left to do

Done holding to the past

Future coming too fast

Change will come and go

But the good times last

So before one of us crashes

And it all fades black

I hope love is the last thing

When you ever think back

Remember me for good times

Chill vibes, late nights

Deep talks, bad jokes

Trying to make the days bright

Now I'm writing and destressing

Cause the pressure keeps pressing

Tried to bury all the pain

But it turned into lessons

Truth cuts deep

Yeah truth still stings

But the wrong point of view

Can't twist real things

Am I addicted

Am I addicted

Am I addicted

I don't think so

But when you start denying

That's a symptom

Every diagnosis

Feels like another prison

It's my life

I chose this

Green turned to nicotine

Shrooms had me seeing things

I still can't explain clean

I'm not banking on making it

I'm not faking this

Like Vic, I do it for the fun

But still put pain in it

This one's for the shit I did

And what I'm rising from

Cause I'm trying to be above that

Not hiding from what I've done

If I was you

I wouldn't know what to do

So how could you

I can't blame them

I can only try to change me

Maybe one day

You'll understand the things

That really made me

It's ironic

Giving advice through the chronic

Half the time, I'm barely living

What I write if I'm honest

I miss the innocence

Back when I was a kid

Getting high on life

That's all we ever did

The problem

Man, it was never them

It was me

Trying to understand it all

Forgetting how to breathe

Just a man after all

Still standing tall

Even when the joke's on me

I still answer the call

Yo

This is my city

So what

Only good if I make it

Then listen up now

Cause I'm close enough to break it

Come back in a few years

Find out what I mean

You'll be living what I said

While I'm building what I've seen

Yeah, we slave to paying

Slave to substance

Still, I keep rapping

Trying to say something

They say raps about nothing

But it's amazing

Same ones hating

Wish they had the same thing

But first, I gotta point out

If I missed you on the way

I didn't forget

I just didn't know what to say

At the end of the day

Before I'm misunderstood

I just want to know

Are we good

Is it messed up

Thinking these thoughts

Is it messed up

I've been thinking them a lot

It's just me

It's just Scott

It's just Scott

Is it messed up

Thinking these thoughts

Is it messed up

I've been thinking them a lot

It's just me

It's just Scott

It's just Scott